What Happens in Vegas …

stays in Vegas … unless you work on a trading floor.  The trading floors of the old days, were much like a football locker room.  A bunch of “macho” guys talking about what they did last night, what kind of car they drive, how much money they made on a trade, or what they did in Vegas.

Andy, was a sole proprietor, but a big vega trader.  He liked risk and when he gambled, it was big.  He always seemed to be up millions on the day or close to blowing out altogether.  When I met Andy, I didn’t know what to think at first.  He was always amped, talking a hundred miles and hour and very alert.  Come to find out, he was sneaking to the bathroom or a local bar several times during the trading day for a date with The Candy Man.

Well, Andy, was actually very entertaining when you got to know him, but not attractive.  At least I couldn’t see why women were attracted to him.  He was tall and thin, kind of gangly, with a big nose and a pock-marked face.  I actually thought based on the obnoxious orange and yellow button ups he loved to wear that he might even be gay.  I was wrong though, he was married to an absolutely beautiful and accomplished Asian woman and they had children.

I always wondered if the wild ones left the floor after a crazy day of trading and could actually go home and mellow out in front of Sports Center, play with their kids, or take their wives out for a romantic meal.  I guess maybe they could occasionally, but this was not the lifestyle they abided by.  The addiction, risk, and wildness carried itself from the volatile markets to the night life.

I learned all about it when Andy returned from Las Vegas, white as a ghost and with the tremors.  “Ah man, you should have seen the hookers,” he told me.  What?  Well, he explained that all the strippers were hookers.  You just had to invite them back to your hotel after hours and they’d do anything for extra cash.  Apparently they were doing lines off the hookers stomach.  Then Andy and his friends took turns bending her over.  As one man would pound her all the others would watch and cheer them on, stroking themselves and awaiting their turn.

I wondered if Andy’s wife had any idea what happens when he goes to Vegas.  This is a trip Andy makes quite frequently.  I still don’t know if she knew all the details, but he was caught cheating and they separated for a time from what I heard.  I also head that she has tried to force him to rehab – apparently she found him passed out in bed covered in his own vomit one too many times!

Peeping Paul

Did you ever wonder why some traders move from San Francisco to Chicago, Philadelphia, and even New York?  Yes, sometimes it’s because there are more lucrative opportunities for them on other trading floors, but sometimes it’s because they are forced to leave in order to save their reputations and start a new life in a new city.

Take Paul.  Paul had traded for many, many years.  While many thought he was a crooked trader due to the extra wide markets he made and the politics in his trading pit, he was viewed as harmless.  He had curly hair and glasses, and if you did not meet him on the trading floor you might think he was a nerdy scientist or mathmetician or something.

Paul was married with kids and in his spare time apparently attended soccer matches and other events around his hometown.  Again, here was a man making good money, a little shadey in terms of his trading behavior, but all in all a conservative, dorky, middle-aged man.

Well, one day Paul’s name was all over the news, and his face was no longer to be seen around the exchange.  He was peeping at a local girls’ college and got caught.  According to the news stories, the cops chased him back to his car and he got in and tried to run them over.  It was clear this was not a one time deal as he had a video recorder and tapes in his car.

Do you have a conservative, family-man living with you at home and making the “big bucks”?  You ever wonder what really turns them on??? 

Just something to think about …

The Secret Life of Mel a.k.a Melanie

Mel was a long time stock broker and a well known  character on the trading floor.  His voice resonated through the trading crowds like an auctioneer, and the floor shook as he excitedly started jumping up and down in the heat of trading, beads of sweat rolling off his nose.  Mel was a big man – over six feet tall and just as wide.  Everyone knew him – you simply could not miss the man.

Mel’s known interests ranged from Star Trek – and yes, he went to as many conventions as he could – to Star Wars and flying rockets.  Each year before his big vacation to the desert where he would get more an more distracted from his job, trading the wrong series then trading out of errors backwards.  His mind always wandered to the rockets he was building and the big competition that lay ahead.  And boy, when he returned from these trips he was wound right up.  Market Makers would try to trade 15 contracts with him and instead of splitting it up 8 and 7 for instance, he would sound off, “5, 4, 3, 2, 1!”  The Market Makers expected this from him and would simply resplit the trade for him as no one cared to trade only one contract.

Well, as interesting a personality as Mel was, it took me some time to hear much else about Mel’s home life.  I knew he was happily married as well and had no kids, but that was about the extent of it.  One day however Mel came to work wearing earrings and makeup.  Now plenty of men wear earrings, but these were blue stars and truly looked like something my five year old daughter would wear with one of her princess dresses.  The blush was a bit questionable too, but what did I know.

Then one of my co-workers told me the real story.  She had been out with Mel and his wife on several occasions … but, when they went out, Mel was often Melanie.  Yes, Mel liked to cross dress in his spare time.  Wow, I could not believe it.  He was a big man and I could not imagine, among other things, where he would find women’s clothing to fit his over-sized pear-shaped body.  Then one day I saw a photo from Halloween.  And here was this big man in a leapord print top and mini skirt, sporting a black wig, and high heels!  Wow!

The story got even more interesting as some of the traders caught wind too.  And then one day a new trader started, a cute young female named Melanie.  And guess what, she was in Mel’s pit.  Anytime he would call out Melanie’s name to trade with her, the crowd would chuckle, picturing Mel a.k.a. Melanie in full drag!

Wife Swapping

You may think that you’d find nothing but middle aged, ultra-conservative Republican men standing in the trading pits of America, screaming, “Buy them” and “Sold” and then after a stressful day, going back to their million dollar homes and perfect Happy Days like family. While most of the traders I ever knew were definitely Republicans, their lifestyles, whether their spouses knew it or not however, was far from conservative. Trading is like an addiction and hence attracts addicts of all kinds … alcohol, drugs, and yes, even sex!

Brad and Pamela were both traders, married with two kids. Bert and Mia were their best friends. Bert too was a trader, Mia, fortunately or unfortunately for her at least did not have that strike against her to start. Bert and Mia were also married with kids. These couples spent a lot of time together off the trading floor. Once the kids were in bed, the parties often got turned up a bit. They considered themselves “Swingers” though they had kept it a secret from most people on the trading floor for a very long time … that is, until Bert and Pamela decided to start getting together and having sex without their partners around.

So what has happened since? Bert and Mia went through a nasty divorce. Bert was a wreck during this and was even spotted snorting a line of cocaine right in the trading pit – in front of everyone. Mia apparently went crazy, causing thousands of dollars worth of damage to the house the couple owned. They did divorce and Bert has since married Pamela … happily ever after for now.

Brad? He and Mia remained friends but long term relationship was not in the mix for them. Brad is getting older but loves young hookers. You may be able to find him on Match.com or some similar site looking for someone 18 or older to have sex with. Yes, someone in the industry found him there once and sent it around – photo and all!!!!